I asked OpenAI’s GPT-3 to list fifty ways to leave your lover… I’m just trying to help out here, Paul Simon!
Get a divorce- Sell your house and move away- Find a new job in a different city- Join the military and get stationed elsewhere- Go back to school full time- Win the lottery and move to another country- Pack up your things and move out without telling them where you’re going or why- Tell them you’re moving out and leave while they’re at work/school- Leave town for a weekend with no explanation and don’t come back- Change your phone number, email address, social media accounts, etc., so they can’t contact you anymore- Get a restraining order- Tell them you’re seeing someone else and that you want to end things- Send them a break-up letter or email- Ghost them completely (stop all communication without any explanation)- Unfriend/unfollow them on social media- Change your appearance so they don’t recognize you if they see you in public- Sell/give away their belongings that are still at your house- Get rid of anything that reminds you of them- Block their number and email address- Move to a different city/state/country- Go on a trip for an extended period of time (weeks, months, etc.)- Study abroad for a semester or year- Get a new hobby that takes up a lot of your time- Volunteer for something that requires you to be away from home often- Go backpacking/traveling alone for awhile- Work on building up your self-confidence and esteem- Find someone else to date/have as a rebound relationship- Spend more time with friends and family members- Focus on taking care of yourself and your own happiness first- Get therapy to work through your issues- Take a break from dating altogether- Go on a social media cleanse and unfollow/delete anyone who isn’t positive in your life- Declutter your entire life (physical space, digital space, etc.)- Join a new gym or fitness class and get into shape- Cut off all communication with their friends and family members too- Give away anything they gifted to you during the relationship- Donate their clothes to charity- Clean out your shared closet and get rid of anything that reminds you of them or the relationship- Cancel any joint plans/memberships/subscriptions- Return any keys/cards/gifts- Move any furniture they bought back to their house- Uninstall any apps you only had because of them- Get a new job- Transfer schools- Learn how to say “no”- Find a creative outlet (painting, writing, etc.)- Spend more time outside- Create (and stick to) firm boundaries- Set goals for yourself- Focus on healing